Thanks to a slick opening that includes nostalgic narration and busted-tracking-on-the-VCR visual effects, the first five minutes of Alien: Isolation are far and away better than any piece of last year’s dreadfully disappointing Aliens: Colonial Marines. But by the end of the 15-20 (!) hours I spent with the mano-y-xenomorph survival horror show, I wish I’d stopped after the first half-dozen. That’s not to say Isolation is anywhere near as bad as Colonial Marines, but its crime is equally egregious: it is a great idea that, in practice, not only wears out its welcome, but drags on so long that it almost completely erases any trace of the fun I once had. Which is a whole different form of horror than I was expecting.
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